| wowzers |
[05 Aug 2006|02:02pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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bonnie brae |
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its been what like a year? well no more like months but its summer and im gonna be a senior. no one writes on this anymore but i figure HEY I WILL cuz i have no one to talk to..hahahha
anywhom i work at xpect wow im a winner and thats my life.
no boyfriend but i like it that way i wouldnt change what i have and had had for anything
i have a beach. its so special to me and no one can ruin that for me
i have someone whos very sick and needs me constantly. & ill always be here for you bubbie. always. never ever ever ever ever forget that...
i think im finally over owen. YAY it only took my like 3 years!!!!
and well i smell and its time to shower for work, what else is new?! idk ill be writting alot on here seeing as no one looks at this and everyone looks at myspace so i can really like fgfashuhgsghghdasghdsa on here<3
stay classy san diego
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| valentines day |
[14 Feb 2006|05:09pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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panic at the disco |
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sucks.... me and shane are on a break which is my fault but i have nothing to do today so im going to go and hang out with mare and her boyfriend until shane gets out of work... uckkk i dont even know what im supposed to do tonite though. like i dont even expect anything like i shouldnt right? i hope this weekend isnt a complete bummer. cuz my friends are being kinda iffy.. GODDDDDD
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| did you ever think |
[24 Jan 2006|07:45pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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when you were younger that YOUD be the one to drift away or get left out? OK yea so I changed but its not like i dont try to hang out or say "call me" just fucking tell me you dont like me. dont be fake to me. thats the one thing we always said we wouldnt be. and i dont need your bullshit fake "i miss you too's" cause i know you dont. Its pathetic that i take time out of my life wondering why you guys dont want me around anymore. but you know what.. fuck it. i give up. im like your post or something for when theres nothing else to do and it seems like thats what ive always been.
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| wow |
[24 Jan 2006|01:59pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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music |
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7a7p- away with words |
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its been AGES since Ive been on here and I highly doubt anyone goes on theirs anymore.. hmm seeing as everyone including myself is like all about myspace. But lets see... midterms SUCK ass, my and lucy dont talk anymore, and uh im getting a new bed in March which makes me very happy. I met Jessica from Laguna Beach... which was pretty exciting but then i found out that Jason is really 24 so the show is very fake indeed..:( but yea. I dont really hang out with any of my old friends anymore which completely bums me out but whatever they dont talk to me and i guess they think there to good for me cuz im not "cool" enough or something. But my boyfriend is awesome. I love him o so much. And that other guy I always used to complain about in my other entries and i dont even talk to him so life is GRAND<3 im gonna try and update more, mom says its good to let shit out, so when i get mad even though I KNOW no one is reading this, at least ill get it somewhere, cuz i hate my hand writting and i dont keep journals in my room. maeve learned how to read...
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| i couldnt help it |
[01 Sep 2005|04:13pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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alanis |
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wow. SO im in school again. JR year at foran bitches:) SUmmer was awesome. I work at citrus and im currently trying to save up money for car insurance and a car...im in a lot of classes this year with tori<3 and some with nikki and a lot with kate. I barely see lauren anymore, but hey, its cool. I spent this summer with lex and dannielle most of the time just chillin and havin a GAY ol time:) boy o boy. no one is cute in our school. so many freshman, i mean i know i was one once, but like they just stand there and dont move and im late to class and UGH. i have mrs bye again, but shes not so bad yet.. ahah 7th period history is the best with nickanoodle. this weekend will be good. danis supposed to have a party and im guessing more hangin out in the screen house with casey.
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| best friends forever |
[29 May 2005|06:29pm] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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music |
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girl fight |
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yea.. awesome
fuck that
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| ........... |
[25 May 2005|02:29pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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armor for sleep |
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I didnt care that you left and abanded me, what hurts more is I would still die for you...
and hes gone again
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| and when i held his hand, he started to cry |
[21 May 2005|05:53pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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untitled - simple plan |
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I vistied him at the Hospital..he should have never gotten in that car.. I mean like it really didnt hit me till i saw his name on the wall and then my heart sank. I talked to his mom outside for like 10 mins and she was so happy i was there. I just cried and told her that i had to see him myself and make sure he was okay. I went in by myself and sat there and watched him sleep so vunerable. I care about him so much, and today just made me realize, that he could have died, and how much that would have affected me. I love him. I wrote him a note and chris should come by soon to get it. Before i left to go home, i stayed for like an hour, i grabbed his hand and he like started to cry and was like thanks for comin and sayin how i didnt have to and all that jazz...and i just looked at him and told him its gonna be a while before he gets rid of me now.. and we just held each others hands for a while.. I didnt wanna leave, but i had to. He was so tierd. When he comes home, im going to his house and being with him.. i dont care if he doesnt want me like that.. i want to be in his life. cuz this whole thing made me realize, how much he means to me.. if he ever left.. id fall apart.
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| ive come to the conclusion |
[20 May 2005|03:06pm] |
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mood |
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 moody |
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music |
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sugar were going down |
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he was the only one for me..
and thats that
and now that he left and ive tried other guys, and when they leave... its him i miss, not the ones that left..its him
its so sick..
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| daddy |
[15 May 2005|07:39pm] |
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mood |
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hopeless |
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music |
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tiny dancer |
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is depressed. and he wont eat and wont talk and wont do anything but sit on the couch. He wont talk to anyone. like at all. I havent seen him smile or hugged him in days. Mom says she might have to put him away or something. dont know what to do. Im so like, scared. He has no energy or will to do anything and i mean ANYTHING. I cant even like wow, i dont know what to say
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| i used to have them |
[12 May 2005|06:55pm] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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music |
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TSL |
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and now, its like, i float around, again
its cool though, i like being alone
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| we rode around on his mini bike♥ |
[11 May 2005|07:36pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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music |
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Lost And Found |
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yea so we arent fighting anymore. but he was like all thinking we broke up since like im his first gf and like idk.. he doesnt get that we are gonna fight ALOT..ha.. cuz i fight. and thats that:) So i went over there today and hung out with his little brothers. We started a fire pit and stuff. Me and francis watched big daddy and rode to anchor beach on this mini bike contraption he built. It was kinda sad going back there, but hey, being with francis is like, amazing so like, i didnt let it get to me. Idk were both good for each other. I love him.
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| now i remember |
[10 May 2005|02:24pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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music |
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Echo |
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whats its like to have a boyfriend..
...me and francis got into our first official fight today. Like real bad, and wow, it scares me not talking to him.
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| theres infinity and all of you |
[08 May 2005|06:27pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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TBS |
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ive decided to update alot more now...cuz well im on the computer alot, so i figure, instead of sitting here doing nothing, ill write some shit in this journal that no one reads.OH and its public now..cuz..i dont give a fuck:)
Well, May 4th I started going out with Francis Lynch, and Ive never been so happy. Hes just like a breath of fresh air. Ive been hanging out with him at his house alot. I went to Pauls last nite and hung out with kendal and coop and some people i havent seen in a while. I havent hung out with laur or bree in a while and i miss them but hey, they know my number and ive tried so..call when you want me around girls. Today was mothers day and we all ate at lucys and gave gifts and shit. Ive decided to grow up and give Kyle a chance. I mean he is on meds and he has changed for the better i suppose. but the minute he fucks up agian.. hes dead to me. So kyle is alright with me.
Annalee hasnt been around much....
Im pretty sure im stable and happy and its all new, like no doubt i think about that jerk still and I talked to francis matthew about that and all thats okay cuz idk he just understands me like nothing ive ever known before<3
i havent been happier since...
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| Friends Only :) |
[05 Feb 2005|04:57pm] |
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mood |
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cranky |
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music |
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& angels & plages |
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| Vote |
[10 Oct 2004|09:00pm] |
Bush
Kerry
Nadar...
just curious
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| and it was all yellow |
[30 Sep 2004|02:40pm] |
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mood |
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broken |
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music |
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yellow - coldplay |
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....i cant believe I was so dumb to think he was coming back..
In all seriousness, i dont regret anything about him. I dont regret meeting him, "being" with him, hanging out with him still....
But I do regret letting it mean this much to me.
Theres just certain things in life you cant let go of, and things you cant change..he..is one of those things in my life. And hell probably be there for a long long time. I always told myself I wouldnt let anyone use me or "play" me like that, but like they say, love is blind. Even if I only loved him and he didnt love me, it was still love. I just dont get why i cant let him go. I mean, i get it...but its just...its like ruining who i once was. Im no longer happy, and like bouncy..im just..blah. Wake up go to school go to work..go to sleep. thats it. and my D level has gone sooooooo down..i dont even wanna take showers or get out of bed anymore, and its not just b/c of owen, theres other things. He used to be so sweet to me and always knew the right things to say, and yet, he says nothing ....always nothing. I feel so vunerable and alone now. Now that Im cutting him off completely..(lets see how long this lasts) it just seems liike the best thing to do right now. Im not going to call him/text him or anything..for a long time. I need to et myself together, figure out what I want to do with my life this year, and get my goals up. Plus...I need to drink alot this weekend....i have a feeling all ioll do is cry and cry and cry....but people say thats good for you...i heard it was somewhere. Hes never gonna get another decent girl that will deal with his bulshit, but me...ill find someone...i always seem to...i just hope this one makes me forget about owen .... thats all i want .... to forget...
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| :) |
[14 Sep 2004|07:06pm] |
out to eat with the girls tonite..mare my little coountry bear that has no hair ANYWHERE and toots mic boots...not much to say today..thursday off thank god...
I <3 Brian <33333333 heh
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| muhahahah |
[17 Aug 2004|02:05pm] |
hanson tonite...muhahahaha mare..its gonna be fucking gay..but awesome:)
aj...hott
joe...hott
owen...GAY
andy....hotttt
pimpppp
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| Yup nucca |
[22 May 2004|04:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
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music |
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Jay Z |
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